No Children Allowed

There is a secret part of me. The one who shines her teeth when people state their future plans for my womb, that immediately thinks to herself, “God forbid!”
But I started seriously thinking about it this year. And so I decided to compile this list. Thank me later.

1. Ain’t nobody gon wake you up (except your alarm clock 😐)-
I love my sleep. I truly do. So the thought of having it interrupted constantly by screaming babies is one that my brain automatically rejects.

2. No food-
Sometimes I hate cooking. The only thing I can stand to cook make at those times is cereal. But children cannot live on cereal alone and they should not have to. Well except the husband steps in.
PS- Men, the kitchen duties are not for your wife alone. Help out sometimes, would you? Thanks!

3. Noise-
Jumpy nerves and noise should not mix. It’s a recipe for accidents of a preventable nature. Children usually equals noise.  AS IT SHOULD BE.

4. Proliferation of children-
Adoption is wonderful! A child need not have your DNA to be YOUR child. Having trouble conceiving. 4th time trying IVF? Freaked out by the thought of surrogacy? There are so many children out there. Who need love, security, the chance of a better life. You don’t have to have kids naturally to be a parent. You don’t even have to adopt. You can foster some children. Read stories to them at the orphanage. Take an interest in their lives. Then you’re in a better position to know if you’ll be a great parent. Plus, God already endorsed it!

5. Parents’ Finance-
Repeat after me- BIRTH CONTROL… (Even GOD said people perish for lack of knowledge). Let me expound on this. I do not subscribe to the belief that the guarantee of future care lies in birthing a multitude of children. That encourages human trafficking in fact. How will you train your children? How many children can you train? Answer that. Then discuss with your partner.

6. Children get hurt-
This is for the excessively emotional ones *me included*. Children get hurt and OFTEN. So if you really don’t like hospitals, maybe you should rethink having kids. Something else to consider- if your child has a genetic disease, is born disabled, could you love that child the same? No judgment. Think deeply.

7. Children die-
It’s very important to go into parenthood eyes wide open. Children actually die, of various causes. Doesn’t mean your child will die, but immortality is not guaranteed.

8. Paedophilia-
In children of both sexes, the need to be extra watchful arises. You never know who’s who. Can you deal with that? Will you think the child is tainted? Can you handle that situation minimising the damage to the kids?

9. Children’s finance-
Diapers. Clothes. Shoes. Books. Hospital bills. Allowance. School fees. Need I say more?

10. Love-
Children thrive on love. They crave affection. Let’s face facts, some parents cannot give that love. Or keep the balance between love and discipline.

For extra, Christian perspective see-

http://thewell.intervarsity.org/dear-mentor/dear-mentor-can-christian-couple-choose-not-have-children
Got any more to add?

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26 Comments Add yours

  1. The State of the world in general: It looks like every time I check up on the news, someone is blowing up/kidnapping/bombing someone else.

    I tell my friends that I will need an army (nannies, housekeepers, etc) when I give birth.

    1. hrh7 says:

      Thanks for commenting.
      But, with the army of nannies and housekeepers, another problem arises.

  2. Agree with all your points here. No 1 is so relatable! I remember being 26 and a Bobo praying on my stomach asking God to bless all that it will bears, prayer wonderful but I was so confused thinking “Who says I want to have kids and if that, do I have a say if it was going to be with you? Needless to say, I didnt have kids with him afterall.

    1. hrh7 says:

      Hahaha!
      Children are beautiful. But their fathers are quite important too

    2. imanikel says:

      @folakemi, just you to be thinking something else at that point. LOL

  3. imanikel says:

    I suspect there’s more to this article so I’ll watch what I say:) …just a nagging question, because your heart was broken, does it mean you should lock it up to another chance at love,this applies to having children. In between I suspect you love children (probably only grown)

    1. hrh7 says:

      I do love children. Still trying to decide whether to have them or not. I love babies but usually when I don’t have to watch them scream endless. Thanks for the comment. I might write another article on the pros.

      1. imanikel says:

        I knew you love babies…LOL a secret if you really cried and disturbed your mum, yours will likely do same, so prepare yourself!

      2. hrh7 says:

        I was as quiet as a mouse πŸ™‚

      3. imanikel says:

        hahahahaha. I’ll be the judge of that when I see you. By the curvedness of their lips you shall know them. πŸ™‚

  4. Not every woman has to become a mother,nor should some women who are not geared to raising children. I remember sitting with a friend one day and talking about her teenage son’s lastest escapade. She looked at me and sighed. “I know your love your daughter more than your eyes, and you know how I adore my two kids, BUT, what’s so great about raising children? When did we buy into that myth?”We just looked at each other and then started to laugh.

    1. hrh7 says:

      Thank you!
      I just wanted people to realise that it’s possible to live, and happily too without bearing children.
      However, sometimes children are awesome. It’s a matter of choice really.
      Thank you so much for the comment.

  5. I deeply respect peoples’ choices to remain child free. My favorite aunt is child free and, boy, did she ever spoil the heck out of my brother and me! She didn’t want children due to some of your reasons. Her main reason was she felt that she would worry too much about them. I’ve raised two kids of my own and aided in raising my step-son. They have all turned out well, but it was with much work, worry and money. It’s wonderful that you’re thinking things through so thoroughly before making a decision. πŸ™‚

    1. hrh7 says:

      I totally understand your aunt’s decision to remain child-free. As someone who has had previous experience with worry, I know how stomach- knotting it can be.
      Still thinking about whether or not to have them. I’ll probably put out a pros list soon.
      Thank you for the comment. And a great one it is too.

  6. Another reason to think about is you truly cannot choose your children, like your family. You can raise them properly but that does not mean they will not go to the dark side one day. There are nice sayings about love conquering all, but this is not always the case as some have found. Would you be able to deal with that?

    1. hrh7 says:

      Thanks for the comment.
      And for giving me something else to think about.

  7. dbp49 says:

    It is certainly a choice best made after much consideration. It is unfortunate when we see people hurrying into a decision of this nature after giving it even less thought than they might give the purchase of a puppy. Some people need to wait before having children, and some probably, never should. For those that can, however, when the time is right, break out the diapers and the Sesame Street, I say.

    1. hrh7 says:

      Thank you very much!
      And I completely agree. Children are completely beautiful beings but none of them should be hurried into existence without their parents having the requisite know- how.

  8. Jackie Saulmon Ramirez says:

    One of my daughters just married and she decided many years ago that she does not want children. It took her a long time to find a person she loved enough to marry that also did not want children. The man thought it was expected that people marry and have kids. He was thrilled to hear that he also had a choice. There are many reasons not to have children and one that I don’t see is when a potential parent was so severely abused as a child. Those children grow up to sometimes abuse their kids – even though they might love them. Love is not enough. Great post. πŸ™‚

    1. hrh7 says:

      Thank you. High praise coming from you. Thank you.

  9. jgarrott says:

    Having married at 20, as one of four myself, I presumed we would have children, but not when. Then when I passed my draft physical with flying colors (this was November, 1969) my wife said, “You aren’t going to war without my having your child.” Our older daughter was born while I was still in Army training, but by the grace of God my assignment was Hawaii, not Vietnam. Our younger daughter was born three years later. That daughter, seeing all her sister and she put us through, didn’t want to have children, but finally gave birth in the 10th year of her marriage. Shortly thereafter, she said, “If I had known having children was this much fun I would have done it a lot sooner!” Her second son is less than two years younger than the first. And oh yes – she hasn’t sacrificed career either. She’s a bank manager at this point, but is seriously considering changing over to teaching. I was telling a young man just today that having children is indeed strenuous, but it brings rewards that can be had no other way.

    1. hrh7 says:

      I completely understand those words. One of the reasons I wrote this post was to find out who agreed with me and hopefully their reasons.
      I completely understand that children can enrich lives in ways nothing else can substitute for but I also believe that there are a surplus of children already existing, looking for someone whose life they can enrich and the pointed (in my country- Nigeria anyway) dismissal of those children in favour of the propagation of your own lineage is dangerous to their self confidence. Plus, it is very possible to have children in your life and not be a parent or guardian. Regular visits to the orphanages, regularity of care for differently abled children also enriches lives.
      But I do concede- Children enrich lives- https://inbetweenpeople.wordpress.com/2014/11/26/bring-on-the-little-ones/.
      In fact, I already have.

  10. My favorite point above is number 4. The point following could have further discussion, but I will say that you have some very well thought out reasons.

    Thank you so much for reading our blog. Please stop by often to read about the children of India that the Servants of Charity are providing for.

    1. hrh7 says:

      You’re welcome. Thanks for visiting my blog too.

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